November 2, 2010

An about face..

After sixteen years of marriage, my husband and I have developed policies and approaches to nearly everything that comes across our path.  You’ve read some of them here, and there are many more to come.  They’re our way of handling things, our way of enjoying and coping with life and all that it entails.  These Wilbur ways didn’t exist from the beginning… they have evolved with experience.  For example, that youthfully ignorant couple to the left thought that homeschooling was detrimental to children and a ludicrous decision for any family to make.  The couple below has children who have all been homeschooled since kindergarten.  It was no easy decision, and how it came about is a story for another time, but suffice it to say that change in general, while it may not be easy, is sometimes necessary.  If we were never to be open to new ideas, never willing to adapt to new situations, we would live our lives banging our heads against the wall because our old ways wouldn’t always fit our new circumstances.
Some years back we started hearing about Facebook.  My husband Joe and I talked about it and had many laughs about the whole concept.  To us, with what little we knew, having a Facebook account seemed self-centered and self-aggrandizing.  The more we heard about it from friends who used it and from news we read about it, the more we dug our heels in and said this was not for us.  We thought it was a website where people built pages around themselves, going on and on about what they liked and didn’t like, what they ate for breakfast, that they had returned their library books, and so on; frankly, we thought it was silly and selfish.  Joe and I agreed that we would never get involved with Facebook.
This past summer, however, the subject needed to be revisited because our teenage son Scott took an interest in it.  Having moved out of state a couple years ago, we thought it might not be terrible for him to get involved with it to reconnect with old friends and build new friendships too, and that after all, it was ideal for young people who were learning who they are and finding friends.  We decided that it may not be of any value for middle-aged people like us, but it could be fun for him, provided that it didn’t lead to him thinking only about himself.  He is a well-grounded young man, so we thought it would be alright to let him give it a try.  But among our many policies is internet caution, so we decided I had better start an account too, just so that I could learn how it worked and be equipped to help Scott with it and to understand what’s going on in his world.  I was admittedly intrigued and perhaps even a little excited about it, much to my own dismay.  The original deal was put aside for the sake of one of our kids, and I took the plunge.
Imagine my delight when I found out what it was really like, Facebookers among you!  When I signed up I quickly learned that it really was about connecting with people, not talking about yourself, if used properly.  I now have close to a couple hundred “friends” from all different corners and years of my life.   Facebook has become a part of my day, starting the morning out with sharing a Bible verse on it, checking and answering messages, sharing a link to what you see in front of you, and yes, folks, even Farmville.  I've enjoyed renewing old friendships and strengthening new ones.  It's wonderful!
Flexibility and willingness to look at something afresh and make a new policy is necessary in life.  If we never change our minds on anything, we may miss out on something fantastic.  Certain principles and policies remain intact in our family without wavering, those of our faith.  Truth is not negotiable.  But the day-to-day things of life sometimes require a second look, and at times, a reversed decision.
After all, I always thought blogging was silly too…


  1. Well. I kinda still think facebook is probably a nasty virus just waiting for just the right time to destroy all our computers. ... But until then, enjoy!!

  2. I had to chuckle when I read your original view of homeschooling. :)

  3. Militantly opposed to it at the time, Beth, though thankfully I usually kept my thoughts to myself back then! I have to laugh at it too!

  4. I love connecting with you, Laura! I also quite enjoy your blog. You are intelligent, sweet, and funny:) Give Joe and the kids our best.

  5. Thanks, Jen! I appreciate your kind words. Glad to be in touch with you too! I married into a very special family!